Lafiya: The Mental Load Mothers Carry at Back-to-School
School supplies, registrations, activity schedules, meals to plan, and work, all at once. Every year, back-to-school brings its usual pile of lists. But it also brings something quieter. A weight you can’t quite see. That weight has a name: mental load. And it lands, very often, on mothers’ shoulders.
What Is Mental Load?
Mental load isn’t just « getting things done. » It’s having to think about them, constantly, before you even start.
The concept was first developed in 1984 by sociologist Monique Haicault. According to Allodocteurs, it describes the invisible work of managing, anticipating, and coordinating daily life.
In other words, it’s not the task itself that wears you down. It’s thinking about it, nonstop.
Back-to-School, a Hidden Peak in Mental Load
During the holidays, this load eases up a little. But it comes roaring back the moment school starts again.
You have to plan supplies, handle registrations, and sometimes arrange childcare. Every detail demands a decision.
So even without lifting a finger physically, the brain stays fully switched on. That’s exactly what mental load looks like.
This Weight Still Falls Too Often on Mothers
In many households, this invisible management naturally lands on mothers. Not always by choice, but often out of long-standing habit.
This isn’t anyone’s fault in particular. It’s more of an inherited pattern, one few households ever really question.
Still, talking about it already changes a lot. Naming the problem is the first step toward sharing it.
Recognizing the Warning Signs in Time
Some signs don’t lie. Fatigue that won’t lift, even after rest, is one of them.
Irritability, frequent forgetfulness, or the feeling of « running on a loop » count too. These signals deserve your attention.
They don’t mean personal failure. They simply signal it’s time to lighten the load.
Practical Ways to Lighten the Mental Load
First, say the tasks out loud. What stays invisible is often hard to share fairly.
Next, split up certain responsibilities clearly, with specific roles for each household member. Clarity prevents things from falling through the cracks.
Finally, give yourself real breaks, even short ones. Our article on deep breathing offers simple tools for those moments.
Mental Load, a Weight That Can Be Shared
Mental load isn’t a female fate written in stone. It’s a mechanism, and mechanisms can change.
Talking about it openly, with those around you, is often the first step. Silence, on the other hand, only adds to the weight.
So this back-to-school season, give yourself permission to delegate. You don’t have to carry it all alone.
Pélagie BLEWUSSI
