{"id":1496,"date":"2026-08-18T05:24:24","date_gmt":"2026-08-18T03:24:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lafricaine.news\/?post_type=laf_mot&#038;p=1496"},"modified":"2026-08-21T18:56:56","modified_gmt":"2026-08-21T16:56:56","slug":"le-paternalisme","status":"publish","type":"laf_mot","link":"https:\/\/lafricaine.news\/en\/mot\/fhem-paternalism-definition-signs-control\/","title":{"rendered":"PATERNALISM"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Le paternalisme : <strong>quand \u00ab c&rsquo;est pour ton bien \u00bb devient une prison<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Nd\u00e8ye a 30 ans<\/strong> et dirige une \u00e9quipe de cinq personnes. Pourtant, d\u00e8s qu&rsquo;un dossier strat\u00e9gique arrive, son propre sup\u00e9rieur pr\u00e9f\u00e8re le confier \u00e0 un coll\u00e8gue <strong><em>\u00ab\u00a0plus exp\u00e9riment\u00e9\u00a0\u00bb.<\/em><\/strong> Officiellement, c&rsquo;est pour <strong><em>\u00ab\u00a0l&rsquo;\u00e9pargner\u00a0\u00bb<\/em><\/strong>. En r\u00e9alit\u00e9, personne ne lui demande jamais si elle se sent pr\u00eate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>St\u00e9phanie, elle, a 35 ans<\/strong>, un m\u00e9tier stable et son propre appartement. Malgr\u00e9 cela, son p\u00e8re continue d&rsquo;intervenir dans presque toutes ses d\u00e9cisions importantes : le choix de son compagnon, ses projets professionnels, m\u00eame l&rsquo;endroit o\u00f9 elle devrait vivre. \u00c0 chaque fois, la m\u00eame phrase revient : <strong><em>\u00ab\u00a0je sais ce qui est bon pour toi.\u00a0\u00bb<\/em><\/strong> Ainsi, sa r\u00e9ussite personnelle ne change rien \u00e0 la mani\u00e8re dont il continue de la traiter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Deux femmes, deux univers diff\u00e9rents&nbsp;: le bureau, la famille. Cependant, un seul m\u00e9canisme les traverse toutes les deux : <strong>le paternalisme<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Une autorit\u00e9 qui avance masqu\u00e9e<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Le paternalisme, ce n&rsquo;est pas un simple exc\u00e8s de prudence. <em><strong>C&rsquo;est une fa\u00e7on de d\u00e9cider \u00e0 la place de quelqu&rsquo;un, tout en pr\u00e9sentant cela comme un acte d&rsquo;amour ou de sagesse.<\/strong><\/em> D&rsquo;ailleurs, le mot vient du latin <em>pater<\/em> (le p\u00e8re) et d\u00e9signe \u00e0 l&rsquo;origine une posture o\u00f9 l&rsquo;on traite l&rsquo;adulte comme un enfant qu&rsquo;il faut encore guider. Concr\u00e8tement, celui qui exerce le paternalisme ne demande jamais la permission : il d\u00e9cide, puis il justifie par le fameux \u00a0\u00bb c<em>&lsquo;est pour ton bien\u00a0\u00bb.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Les signes du paternalisme qui ne trompent pas<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Le paternalisme ne se pr\u00e9sente presque jamais comme une agression. Au contraire, il porte le masque de l&rsquo;attention et du souci de bien faire. Voici comment il se manifeste concr\u00e8tement :<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Il infantilise les personnes et ne respecte pas leur libert\u00e9.<\/strong> Par exemple, on continue de \u00ab\u00a0prot\u00e9ger\u00a0\u00bb une femme adulte de ses propres choix, comme si elle n&rsquo;\u00e9tait jamais tout \u00e0 fait capable de les assumer seule.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Il cr\u00e9e un lien de soumission d\u00e9guis\u00e9 en gentillesse.<\/strong> Autrement dit, plus quelqu&rsquo;un \u00ab\u00a0prend soin\u00a0\u00bb de vous \u00e0 votre place, plus vous devenez d\u00e9pendante de son avis pour avancer.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Il donne tout le pouvoir \u00e0 une seule personne qui d\u00e9cide pour les autres.<\/strong> Ainsi, l&rsquo;\u00e9quilibre se rompt durablement : d&rsquo;un c\u00f4t\u00e9 celui qui sait \u00ab\u00a0ce qui est bon\u00a0\u00bb, de l&rsquo;autre celle qui n&rsquo;a plus vraiment voix au chapitre.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">De ce fait, la personne concern\u00e9e finit souvent par douter d&rsquo;elle-m\u00eame, m\u00eame dans les domaines o\u00f9 elle excelle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">(<strong><em>Un mot que vous ne connaissez peut-\u00eatre pas, mais qui gouverne le quotidien de nombreuses femmes en silence : d\u00e9couvrez<\/em><\/strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/lafricaine.news\/en\/mot\/tocophobie\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" title=\"TOKOPHOBIA\">la tocophobie<\/a> )<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Un r\u00e9flexe plus ancien qu&rsquo;on ne le pense<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Comme chez <strong>Nd\u00e8ye et St\u00e9phanie<\/strong>, ce comportement ne sort pas de nulle part :<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"1\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Des rep\u00e8res familiaux transmis<\/strong>\u00a0: dans beaucoup de foyers, aimer a longtemps voulu dire d\u00e9cider \u00e0 la place de l&rsquo;autre \u00ab\u00a0pour son bien\u00a0\u00bb. Par cons\u00e9quent, ce r\u00e9flexe se rejoue naturellement plus tard, au travail comme en couple.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Des id\u00e9es re\u00e7ues sur les femmes<\/strong>\u00a0: Historiquement, les femmes ont souvent \u00e9t\u00e9 per\u00e7ues comme plus fragiles ou moins rationnelles. De ce fait, on a longtemps jug\u00e9 \u00ab normal \u00bb de d\u00e9cider pour elles.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Une peur sinc\u00e8re de l&rsquo;\u00e9chec de l&rsquo;autre\u00a0:<\/strong> La personne paternaliste croit souvent bien agir. N\u00e9anmoins, cette bonne intention finit par \u00e9touffer l&rsquo;autonomie de celle qu&rsquo;elle pr\u00e9tend soutenir.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Reprendre la main sur le paternalisme, un choix \u00e0 la fois<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Heureusement, ce sch\u00e9ma n&rsquo;est pas grav\u00e9 dans le marbre, il se d\u00e9construit et des deux c\u00f4t\u00e9s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Nommer les choses clairement\u00a0:<\/strong> Dire \u00ab\u00a0je d\u00e9cide seule\u00a0\u00bb remet imm\u00e9diatement les r\u00f4les \u00e0 leur place. En effet, le silence est souvent ce qui laisse le d\u00e9s\u00e9quilibre s&rsquo;installer.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Reconqu\u00e9rir ses choix un par un\u00a0:<\/strong> financiers, professionnels, personnels, plut\u00f4t que de vouloir tout changer d&rsquo;un coup. Ainsi, la confiance se reconstruit progressivement.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>En parler ouvertement<\/strong>\u00a0: \u00e0 une amie, une th\u00e9rapeute ou un collectif de femmes. Effectivement, mettre des mots dessus aide \u00e0 distinguer la vraie attention de la prise de pouvoir d\u00e9guis\u00e9e.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>Au final, le paternalisme n&rsquo;a rien \u00e0 voir avec l&rsquo;amour ou le respect v\u00e9ritable. C&rsquo;est une privation de libert\u00e9 qui avance \u00e0 visage couvert. Le rep\u00e9rer, c&rsquo;est d\u00e9j\u00e0 commencer \u00e0 s&rsquo;en d\u00e9faire.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>","protected":false},"template":"","class_list":["post-1496","laf_mot","type-laf_mot","status-publish","hentry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 5.0.1.1 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Paternalism: the word that decides for you under the guise of care. 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